Have you ever gotten stuck in a “push trap”?
I have.
Regularly in fact.
As a mother I can often get stuck in this common pitfall. Mothers tend to be in a constant state of pushing forward, pushing through, achieving, organizing, and gluing our families together. This ends up driving us to push through each day, push to get to the end of the to-do list, push to be more, have more, do more, and push through the cues and clues our body is giving to stop the madness.
I’ve found 3 keys that help me to get back on track and they are all centered on one of my guiding words for this year: Connection
1) Connecting upward
As a Christian, I know the importance of having my daily quiet time with God first thing each morning. I really enjoy the app “First5” from Proverbs31 Ministries. Each of their series of studies goes through a book or group of books in the Bible where I read a Bible chapter and devotional thought every day. However, because of my to-do lists addiction, it can become just another accomplishment to check off and quickly move away from. In order for me to truly connect with God, I find changing things up from time to time can help keep things fresh. Journaling prayers or thoughts and Bible verses that I’m reminded of in whatever situation I’m in, slowing things down and thinking through what’s being said, or choosing a verse to memorize and think about throughout the day are all helpful.
2) Connecting inward
Asking questions are a great tool to help stop the crazy-busy-nonstop cycle and brings focus to what’s going on in my heart. Am I craving certain foods or overeating because I’m craving something else, like alone time? Am I stuffing my day with busyness so that I don’t feel the pain of what’s missing? Am I bingeing on technology because I’m afraid of being in quiet and alone with my feelings?
Connecting inward by speaking daily affirmations is another important connection tool. There’s a powerful quote by Rock Thomas that nails this which says, “The words that follow ‘I am’, follow you”. Just like negative words to ourselves become our truth, so can positive, affirming ones. It’s not about waiting to feel the words are true or waiting for the tangible proof of our words before saying them either. Because our minds don’t know the difference between what we say and reality, what we say becomes the truth our mind believes.
As a Christian, I know that God sees me as precious, beautiful and capable of all things in His strength. From this perspective, some of the favourite affirmations I say to myself in the mirror and write in my journal to read throughout the day are:
-I am perfect, healthy and whole
-I have God’s peace with me wherever I am
-I love and accept myself exactly the way I am
-I have everything I need
-I am enough just the way I am
3) Connecting Outward
Since I’m an introvert, I find this one a challenge. I do not do well with large crowds, noisy places and lots of people constantly crashing into my space, so it’s easy for me to assume that I don’t have the need to connect with others very often. However, by nature we’ve all been created as social beings and so introvert or not, this is indeed one of my needs. The key is how I get this need met. For me this looks like getting together regularly with friends one-on-one or in small groups where I can focus more easily on connecting with a person’s heart and share mine as well. This also applies to my family. Even though I see and am with my children a lot during each day, living in the same house does not equal meaningful connection. Just like I’ve found with a weekly date night with my husband, regular one-on-one times of sharing meaningful time with each of my kids helps to fill both our needs for connection.
Life needs to be more than just a crazy, busy-filled cycle. When I have the right tools and a commitment to what’s important, I can be plugged into the power of connection.
The Write Life 