Fear or Love?

Asking myself the right questions makes me think deeply. That’s how I feel about today’s question from Luna & Sol:

Am I motivated by fear, or love, in my life?
This is a doozie and can’t be answered without some deep soul searching.
I think about the roles I play in my life – wife, mother, daughter, friend, teacher, co-worker, and when I think about the role fear plays in each of these, it seems complicated. What does it look like to live from fear or love?

-Being motivated by fear with my health looks like doing all the right things because I fear suffering and getting some dreaded disease.
Love says, “I’m running towards feeling good and being my best self, not away from something bad or scary.”
-Being motivated by fear in my relationships is questioning and interpreting every motive, word and action-or lack thereof, every look and sigh in a negative light.
Love says, “I’m choosing to believe the best about this person no matter what.”
-Being motivated by fear when facing change sounds like negativity, grumbling and complaining, refusing to try new things in case I look stupid or don’t do it perfectly the first time.
Love says, “I’m open to change and trying new things because that’s what helps me to grow and experience all life has to offer me.”
-Do I say yes to all the requests of my time because of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and fear of disappointing someone, or do I choose to say yes to taking care of myself more often?
-Do I avoid reaching out to others for connection and support because of fear of rejection and being seen as a burden, or do I choose to love myself enough to take the chance?
-Do I lose my temper with my children when they mess up because of fear of potential judgement from others on my parenting, or do I forget what others may think and remind my kids that I love them no matter what mistakes they make?

Fear isn’t all bad. It’s what keeps us from walking down dark allies, standing too close to the edge of a cliff and going skinny dipping in shark infested waters. Healthy fear is meant to keep us safe, like the barred cages at the zoo that allow us to enjoy all the beautiful wild animals in safety. However, if allowed to get out of control, those bars quickly disappear and the results can create a life of chaos, confusion and exhaustion.

What’s the answer to the question then? Which of the two has the balance of power in my life?
Not all the bars have been put back in their right places. There are still a few wild animals that like to chase me. I’m learning to stop running, look them in the eye and send them back to where they belong. I find it interesting that when I choose to stand and face them, they don’t seem as big and scary as I once thought they were. In fact, the more times I do this, the smaller and more harmless they become.

There’s a verse in the Bible I like that says,
“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love and of a sound mind.”
2Tim. 1:7 NKJV

That means God has wonderful gifts to give me every day and fear is NOT one of them. He has given me something much better though:
The power to choose to face the fears and move forward in spite of them.
The power to choose love for others and myself regardless of how I feel.
The power to protect my mind and only fill it with things that will empower and make me stronger.

So, yes, there are times when unhealthy fear is definitely the motivator behind my thoughts and actions.
And yes, I’m learning everyday to rely more and more on the power of love instead.

How about you?
Post your thoughts on today’s question about fear and love in the comment section below.